Co-Parenting 101

Co-Parenting 101


I have served single mothers in formal ministry for more than fifteen years and perhaps one of the most frequently asked topics our ministry broaches is how to navigate the tricky waters of parenting with an ex. There is no special manual on how to make things run smoothly with someone that you couldn’t navigate a successful relationship with. Can we just establish upfront that it is indeed hard?! One hundred percent of the time – at least initially. Yes, there are some co-parenting relationships that are easier than others, and some do find their rhythm more quickly than others. But all are hard.  

There are times when an ex does not do what they are supposed to do, and sometimes they are not easy to communicate and co-parent with. Honestly, there may be times when you do not do what you are supposed to do, as you navigate your own complex healing journey! Now that we have acknowledged that truth, where do you go from here? Do you determine it’s too complicated and throw in the towel? No. In order to ensure your child flourishes, it is vital that you learn to co-parent, theoretically, for the next twenty years. The way you handle this relationship, like all other relationships, is important. It is an example to your child.    

Here are some things you need to consider as your proceed with co-parenting: 

  1. You only control your actions, not theirs. There is absolutely nothing you can do about their language, their demeanor towards you, their choice in a romantic partner, or basically anything else that they does. However, you can control what you do and say.  Make your actions count. Be kind. Treat them the way you want to be treated, as the Bible implores. Watch your tone. Watch your demeanor. Do not reciprocate poor behavior. Your child is watching. 

  2. Do not speak negatively about your child’s father (or mother). Ever. Now, some will say, “I don’t speak negatively about them when little Johnny is around!”  I want to take it a step further and encourage you not to speak negatively about them– ever! Do not speak negatively about them, when your child can hear or when your child is not around. This one is hard, I know. However, there are a couple of reasons why this is important. First, even with careful practice, there are times when our children overhear us saying things, we did not intend for them to hear, so resolving not to speak negatively regarding their mother or father will prevent this from happening and causing additional wounds for your child. Beyond that, your willingness to constantly speak negatively about them to others establishes a habit in your heart that is not fruitful nor God-honoring.  How can you be soft-hearted and kind to someone you constantly speak negatively about, when they aren’t present?  

  3. Forgive. Just do it. Yes, it hurt. Yes, they may have been wrong in their actions. Yes, the wound may still be raw and exposed. Maybe the wounds were multiple and long-standing and the offenses egregious. Let it go. It will be hard, and you may have to do it kicking and screaming, but your freedom hangs in the balance. Jesus’ instructions are clear in Matthew 18:21-22 when Jesus tells us to forgive a person seven times seventy in just one day. We have to be intentional about choosing to forgive. When tempted to pick up the offense again, or when the wound reopens because a new offense exists, forgive. I don’t take lightly, what I’m instructing you to do. As a victim of multiple childhood sexual assaults, I know the wounds left by unspeakable acts. However, the forgiving is for your healing, and there is not greater joy than its freedom. 

  4. Choose to resolve the conflict. I realize it takes some participation from the other party to navigate conflict well. Therefore, I am specifically speaking to your willingness to choose to resolve the conflict, as it pertains to your child. Position your heart to forgive the hurt and resolve the conflict. Position your heart to let go of the past wound from the relationship and establish a healthy co-parenting relationship going forward. Whether the conflict arises due to insecurities, misunderstandings, exhaustion, immaturity, malice, or simply Satan’s plan of division, no one benefits from the constant strife, least of all – your children. You do whatever you can to resolve issues that pertain to your children. Be flexible and malleable.  

  5. Issue grace. Most of us would rather receive grace than give it. It is much easier for us to see all the reasons why God should give us grace, e.g. because our heart is good, we are a good person, and we did not mean to fail Him, etc. It is much harder for us to see the good in others and just give them a break. Maybe they are completely unreasonable.  Maybe you are completely right. Is it more important for us to find ways we can avoid strife rather than concentrating on being right? Ephesians 4:3 – Make every effort to keep yourselves united in Spirit, binding yourselves together in peace

  6. Take your offense directly to them rather than everyone else. (See Matthew 18:15.) It is unfair to assume that they know what they are doing wrong if we have never taken the time to bring it to their attention. This does not mean you have a license to be rude, condescending, or accusatory. This means you take it to them with the hopes of resolution. It is even more unfair to discuss an offense with others when you have not discussed it with them. Do not gossip about it or let it fester. Take it to them with a desire to make it right and move on. When you take it to them, take it with a pure heart – not in hopes that you can convince them how right you are. This is not about rekindling an old relationship or rehashing the disappointments of the relationship. This is about taking an offense that would be necessary to move forward in co-parenting. 

  7. Speak life over the situation. The power of life and death are in the tongue. Proverbs 18:21. We understand that we are supposed to keep our tongue in line with the Word of God. Yet, we struggle to do so. When we want to resolve conflict, we must speak life, encouragement, and hope over the situation. If you think you can speak negatively about your ex, and not grow division in your heart, you are wrong. It is amazing how much better our lives could if we just watched our mouths. 

  8. Battle your thoughts. Philippians 4:8 says to fix our thoughts on whatever is true, honorable, right, pure, lovely, and admirable. You cannot keep playing in your mind over and over and over what they said, what they did, and how you felt, and then expect a successful co-parenting relationship. You cannot keep negative thoughts from coming into your mind. It is your choice what you do with them when they get there. 

Parents, your resolve to co-parent in harmony is far more important than your need to convince the world how wrong your ex was or how bad they treated you. I realize that even in writing this, there will be some who will be angered or hurt in reading it. You don’t know what they did or how they continue to hurt us!  I’m so very sorry for your pain. I’m sorry this journey has been the one you and your children are left to walk out. But my prayer for you today is that God restores, heals, and redeems, that He gives you “eyes to see and ears to hear.” Co-parenting is important. Your peace is important. Your children’s peace is important. Determine in your hearts that you will co-parent well with God’s help. 

 

First seen on iBelieve. 

Jennifer Maggio is a mom to three, wife to Jeff, and founder of the national nonprofit, The Life of a Single Mom Ministries. She is author to four books, including The Church and the Single Mom. She was named one of the Top 10 Most Influential People in America by Dr. John Maxwell in 2017 and 2015 and has appeared in hundreds of media venues, including The New York Times, Family Talk Radio with Dr. James Dobson, Joni and Friends, and many others. 





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38 churches suing Maryland-based UMC Conference over disaffiliation process

38 churches suing Maryland-based UMC Conference over disaffiliation process


Bishop LaTrelle Easterling
Bishop LaTrelle Easterling of The Baltimore-Washington Conference of The United Methodist Church giving remarks at a 2019 meeting of the regional body. |

A group of 38 congregations that have decided to leave The United Methodist Church over theological issues have sued the denomination over objections to the process of disaffiliation.

Filed last week in the Circuit Court of Maryland for Anne Arundel County, the lawsuit accuses the UMC Baltimore-Washington Conference of “holding their church buildings and property hostage.”

“Defendants claim Plaintiff Churches’ property is encumbered by an irrevocable trust for the benefit of the UMC and the only way for Plaintiff Churches to disaffiliate without surrendering the buildings and property that are central to their congregations is by the permission of the UMC and payment of a financial ransom,” argued the complaint.

“This position is inconsistent with the decades-long pattern and practice of the UMC to allow local churches to disaffiliate and retain their church property without paying a ransom.”

The plaintiffs, which include congregations based in Maryland and West Virginia, claim that the Conference’s process of disaffiliation for congregations puts harsh burdens on churches to have to pay the regional body for their church buildings and properties.

David Gibbs of the National Center for Life and Liberty, which is representing the congregations, told The Christian Post that his law firm took the case “because we believe that the local churches have very valid claims that need to be brought forward.”

“We work with local churches across the nation and we believe that their claims are valid,” he continued. “We are working with 1,500 churches across the nation, many of them are able to work with their conferences to achieve an amicable or cordial separation.”

“But, in some instances, it becomes impossible for the churches to leave, or unconscionable when you start looking about the amount of money that’s being asked for.”

Regarding the Baltimore-Washington situation, Gibbs said, “the churches have paid for their own properties, they’ve maintained their own properties, they’ve paid all their own bills, and they’ve charitably supported the Conference.”

“And now, to leave, the Conference wants 50% of the property values written in a check to them, which as these properties have gone up in value, is just an extremely large amount of money that’s just impossible,” he added.

“And so, some of these churches that are in cities and other areas they’re not in a position to do that, and this is property they’ve already paid for once.”

A Baltimore-Washington Conference spokesperson directed CP to a statement made by Bishop LaTrelle Easterling regarding the matter that was released on Monday.

“What these churches that are suing the conference seek is vastly different from our open and transparent process, which occurs in church conferences and at our annual conference session,” stated Easterling.

“It is an attempt to undermine the core of the connectional commitments all churches and conferences in our denomination have to one another. And it is outside the bounds of established church law, doctrine and theology.”

Easterling also warned of “significant unintended consequences” that can occur if the congregations are allowed to reject the disaffiliation process of the regional body.

“For instance, an abrupt separation creates significant issues that could damage benefits and pensions for retired pastors and their spouses who devoted their lives to service,” stated the bishop.

“Further, the mission shares … give support to our camps, as well as campus ministries, to natural disaster response projects, to food and homeless ministries, and to vital missions in our communities and abroad. Without the committed funding from the United Methodists churches in the BWC, these ministries will no longer be able to flourish.”

Since 2022, more than 1,800 churches have voted to leave the UMC, largely in response to the ongoing debate over whether the denomination should no longer consider same-sex romantic relationships sinful.

The UMC Book of Discipline currently labels homosexuality “incompatible with Christian teaching” and prohibits the blessing of same-sex unions and the ordination of noncelibate homosexuals.

However, many progressive leaders have refused to follow or enforce the Book of Discipline rules, such as allowing the consecration of bishops who are in same-sex marriages.

Most of these departing congregations have joined the Global Methodist Church, a theologically conservative alternative to the UMC that was officially launched in May of last year.  

Follow Michael Gryboski on Twitter or Facebook

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Dearly Loved – Greg Laurie Devotion – March 22, 2023

Dearly Loved – Greg Laurie Devotion – March 22, 2023


Wednesday, March 22, 2023

Dearly Loved

God decided in advance to adopt us into his own family by bringing us to himself through Jesus Christ. This is what he wanted to do, and it gave him great pleasure. (Ephesians 1:5 NLT)

When John baptized Jesus in the Jordan River, a voice came from Heaven saying, “This is my dearly loved Son, who brings me great joy” (Matthew 3:17 NLT).

Then we read in Ephesians 1 that “God decided in advance to adopt us into his own family by bringing us to himself through Jesus Christ. This is what he wanted to do, and it gave him great pleasure” (verse 5 NLT).

The next verse continues, “So we praise God for the glorious grace he has poured out on us who belong to his dear Son” (verse 6 NLT). Or, as the New King James Version renders it, “To the praise of the glory of His grace, by which He made us accepted in the Beloved.”

This means that as Christians, God loves us as much as He loves His own dear Son. Here’s what Jesus said to the Father: “I have given them the glory you gave me, so they may be one as we are one. I am in them and you are in me. May they experience such perfect unity that the world will know that you sent me and that you love them as much as you love me” (John 17:22-23 NLT).

Before knowing Jesus Christ, we were without hope. But through Jesus, God has adopted us as His own beloved children. And now we are precious and dear to Him.

Yet God doesn’t love us because we are lovable. Rather, God loves us because we are in Christ. We have been made “accepted in the Beloved.” God loves us unconditionally, has accepted us, and has given us all that we need to effectively live the Christian life.

And because we have this special relationship with God, it should impact us in the way that we live.

Copyright © 2023 by Harvest Ministries. All rights reserved.

For more relevant and biblical teaching from Pastor Greg Laurie, go to www.harvest.org
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A Prayer for Unsaved Friends – Your Daily Prayer – March 22

A Prayer for Unsaved Friends – Your Daily Prayer – March 22


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A Prayer for Unsaved Friends
By Lynette Kittle

“When Jesus saw their faith, He said to the paralyzed man, “Son, your sins are forgiven” – Mark 2:5

Do you have friends who are in need of your faith? Maybe you haven’t ever thought of it in that way or even considered it a possibility, but your faith can make an eternal life-changing difference in the lives of your friends. Still, maybe you’re not sure if that’s even possible. So let’s look at the story in Mark 2:3 of friends helping a friend. “Some men came, bringing to him a paralyzed man, carried by four of them.”

From the story, we know there were at least five men, four carrying one paralyzed man, but we don’t know how many men there were all together.

Details, Details, Details
Although Scripture tells us a few details, it leaves many unanswered, such as whose idea was it to bring the paralyzed man? Was it his? Did he ask his friends to bring him? Or was it their idea? Did they talk him into it or bring him without asking him?

Whereas we’re often left without all the details in various biblical situations, we trust Scripture gives us the most important ones to know and focus on. In this story, we see a man in need of healing receiving forgiveness for his sins when Jesus saw the faith of these men. Scripture doesn’t tell us if only some of them had faith or whose faith exactly Jesus saw, but it does say the plural “their,” so we know it was more than one person’s faith being recognized.

As well it seems this story points out how important it is whom we hang out with on a regular basis. What if the man who needed forgiveness and healing had no faith, but because of his friends’ faith in bringing him to Jesus that day, he received both? Sadly if he had hung out with faithless men, he would most likely have remained in his sinful, broken condition.

Who Are Your Friends?
Do you have friends who don’t have a relationship with God because they’ve never received forgiveness for their sins through Jesus’ death on the cross and resurrection? If so, your faith can make a difference in their lives. All of eternity lies ahead for them, whether they believe it or not. Without Jesus, they will face eternal death and separation from God. 

But the good news is that you, their friend, have faith. Because you do, ask God to give you opportunities to share your faith with them like the men who carried their paralyzed friend to see Jesus. Like them, be willing to go the extra mile to help your friends receive Salvation in Jesus Christ

When it comes to praying for your friends, be passionate, asking God to do whatever it takes for them to receive His gift of new life. This truly is a life-or-death situation, where nothing on earth is more important for them than having their sins paid in full by the blood of the Lamb. Without it, your friends will be lost forever. 

Ephesians 1:7 explains, “In Him we have redemption through His blood, the forgiveness of sins, in accordance with the riches of God’s grace.”

Let’s pray:

Dear Father,
We ask you to reach out and reveal Your truth to our unsaved friends. Intervene, O Lord, in their lives today. Free them from unbelief. Father, please soften their hearts towards You. Let their ears be opened to hear, their eyes to see, and their hearts to understand Your truth so that they might receive Your Salvation through Jesus Christ (Matthew 13:15).

Do whatever it takes in their lives, Lord, to bring them to faith in You. As Acts 4:12 reveals, “Salvation is found in no one else, for there is no other name under heaven given to mankind which we must be saved.” Help them to understand that Jesus is the only way to You, Father (John 14:6), and is able to save them completely, living forevermore to intercede on their behalf (Hebrews 7:25). Free them from unbelief, dear Father, and give them a new heart and a new spirit within them (Ezekiel 36:26).
In Jesus’ name, Amen

Photo credit: ©GettyImages/Simon Lehmann

Lynette Kittle is married with four daughters. She enjoys writing about faith, marriage, parenting, relationships, and life. Her writing has been published by Focus on the Family, Decision, Today’s Christian Woman, kirkcameron.com, Ungrind.org, StartMarriageRight.com, and more. She has a M.A. in Communication from Regent University and serves as associate producer for Soul Check TV.

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Does it Matter to God What We Wear to Church?

Does it Matter to God What We Wear to Church?


“You’re wearing that to church?”

Children and teenagers across the country have heard that question asked of them countless times. That is because one of the most common stereotypes about the church is that you are supposed to dress nicely or at least dress a certain way. We even have a phrase for it: wear your “Sunday best.”

But does the Bible say anything about our church clothing? And if not, where did this idea come from?

1. Tradition

Probably the most common reason why churchgoers dress a certain way is because of tradition. Their parents did it, and their grandparents did it, and so on.

In this case, it is common for no one to really know why they wear certain clothes (such as a suit and tie for men and dresses or skirts for women); they just do it because that is what they have always done.

The problem with this approach is that it is shallow and superficial, and anyone that breaks the tradition is seen as a rebel — even if their heart is in the right place, they are new and have never been taught about the tradition, or they do not own the right” clothes.

In many churches, the tradition of wearing certain types of clothes to worship services is an unspoken expectation — or it is at least unspoken until someone breaks the tradition and others call them out or talk about them.

2. Culture

Another reason for a certain dress code for a church service is because of culture. For example, the cultural rules of a church might be a three-piece suit, “business-casual” with slacks and an oxford shirt, a robe with certain colors and patterns, biker garb, a floor-length dress with a bonnet, or another specific style.

Cultural standards of dress for church services are found all across the world, and they often coincide with the normal standards of dress and appearance in specific cultures, which makes complete sense.

For example, if women in a certain culture always wear dresses when they are out in public, then it makes complete sense that they would continue that same trend when attending a church service (because it is out in public).

However, the confusion and even frustration for someone (especially someone younger) comes when a church has a much different set of cultural expectations when at church” than during the rest of life.

Also, if a church is not careful, though, this cultural reason can easily turn into pride as one attendee tries to out-dress, out-style, or out-accessorize another attendee.

3. Scripture

Another reason why some people think that Christians should “dress up” for a church service is because of their understanding of Scripture.

It has been a common approach for many years to look at the ornate dress code of priests in the Old Testament, especially when they entered the tabernacle (such as in passages like Exodus 28), and then come up with a doctrine for their church that requires everyone or at least the up-front leaders to wear extra nice or unique clothing.

Because of this, some churches might spend a lot of money on buying their pastor designer suits, expensive shoes, and unique robes.

The problem with this reason, however, is that making a modern application of an Old Testament law like this is out-of-context and eisegetical (meaning we are applying our own meaning to a text) because we no longer worship in a tabernacle or temple, because of what Jesus did for us we are all priests before God (1 Peter 2:9), and there was no precedent set by Jesus or the apostles to dress in any certain kind of way.

In fact, it seems like Jesus normally dressed down to the point that he never stood out in a crowd because of what he was wearing.

4. Respect

A final reason why people dress up or dress a certain way for church services is respect. Depending on who you ask, it may be respect for the church building (in the same way that someone might be quiet in a library or take their shoes off when entering a home) or respect for God.

However, while this reasoning of respect might be noble and come from a heart wanting to obey, the church building is just a building since the actual church is the people that gather within it.

Of course, someone might say that, for example, they respect what the building stands for, which probably takes us back to the aforementioned reasons of Scripture, culture, or tradition.

Furthermore, if our desire is to respect God, then we must respect what he has clearly stated in his Word that his focus is on the heart of men and women, not the exterior or physical dress. God told the prophet Samuel in 1 Samuel 16:7 that “the LORD sees not as man sees… the LORD looks on the heart” (ESV).

Instead, many times someone dresses a certain way to a church service is because of what others think, which can either be a very bad reason or a good reason. Let me explain.

In the same passage where God told Samuel that he looked at the heart, he also explained that “man looks on the outward appearance.” This is no surprise, and it is why this whole issue of dress leads to the tensions between pride versus humility, standing out versus blending in, and tradition versus rebellion that we just looked at.

And the point here is not to just dress how other people want or expect you to dress but to develop an environment in our churches where everyone respects each other to the point that no one dresses to offend or distract others.

We get a great picture of this mentality from Paul’s letter to the Corinthians. He told the Christians in Corinth (referring to a separate issue) to take great care that our “rights” or freedoms do not “somehow become a stumbling block to the weak.”

Because if we are not careful with this, we will sin not just against our brother or sister but “against Christ” (1 Corinthians 8:1-12).

This idea of respect is also why Paul tells his understudy, Timothy, to instruct the women in his church to dress not with “braided hair and gold or pearls or costly attire” and instead wear “respectable apparel” and dress with “modesty and self-control” and put the emphasis on “good works” instead of good clothes (1 Timothy 2:9–10).

Respecting others might mean that in some settings, men wear jeans and a t-shirt, and in other settings, they wear dress pants and a sport coat. Or it might mean that women wear a dress with their hair up or normal pants and a blouse with their hair down.

Respecting others also means that we begin to care less about the style, color, and fabric of what we wear and instead care more about not being a distraction to others, not showing off our wealth, and not making others uncomfortable by dressing immodestly or sloppily.

So, does God care about what we wear to church? Yes — not because it affects him but because it affects his other children.

Practically speaking, if we are showing off too much skin or wear overly-tight clothing to catch others’ attention, if we wear expensive clothing to get people to think more of us, if we wear dirty clothing that others can smell, if we wear overly loose or sloppy clothing that catches on things, or if we wear hats with slogans intended to offend others or tall hats that block peoples’ view, then we might be guilty of disrespecting and not caring for our brothers and sisters in Christ.

Respecting others in this way means that we think deeply about why we wear what we wear as well as why we care about what others wear.

And this is not just about what we wear when we gather for a worship service or a small group study, but about what we do every day of our lives. As Paul wrote to the Church in 1 Corinthians 10:31, “So, whether you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do all to the glory of God” (ESV).

For further reading:

Does God See More Than the Physical Appearance?

5 Problems with Legalism in the Church

Why Is Shame Connected to the Church?

Photo Credit: ©iStock/Getty Images Plus/urbazon


Robert Hampshire is a pastor, teacher, writer, and leader. He has been married to Rebecca since 2008 and has three children, Brooklyn, Bryson, and Abram. Robert attended North Greenville University in South Carolina for his undergraduate and Liberty University in Virginia for his Masters. He has served in a variety of roles as a worship pastor, youth pastor, family pastor, church planter, and now Pastor of Worship and Discipleship at Cheraw First Baptist Church in South Carolina. He furthers his ministry through his blog site, Faithful Thinking, and his YouTube channel. His life goal is to serve God and His Church by reaching the lost with the gospel, making devoted disciples, equipping and empowering others to go further in their faith and calling, and leading a culture of multiplication for the glory of God. Find out more about him here.





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38 churches suing Maryland-based UMC Conference over disaffiliation process

Jeremy Foster, Hope City Church founder who resigned over affair, breaks silence


Jeremy Foster
Jeremy Foster is the founder and former leader of Hope City Church in Houston, Texas. |

Jeremy Foster, the founder of Hope City Church in Houston, Texas, who resigned as the church’s senior pastor just over a year ago after confessing to adultery, announced Sunday that he is now “at peace,” has remarried and wants to help people with the gifts God has given him.

“I am at peace now. I’m married, remarried. Peace with my life, but not with my mistakes, not with my sin. I’m at peace with God,” Foster revealed in an Instagram video on Sunday.

“He’s been very kind to me. I don’t really know what else to say. I don’t know what the future holds. I have a new career. It’s in … I guess the private sector, maybe what you would call it. It’s been good for me. I don’t know what I’ll do publicly. I don’t know if I’m doing anything publicly.

“Maybe at some point, I do know that God has given me gifts to help people. And that’s really what I want to do, is just help people. I don’t know what that looks like in the future. I don’t know when I’ll be back on it. But a lot of people ask me stuff. Some people encouraged me to do things. I’m not ready,” he said. “I do want to help people … and that’s one of the things that I’m enjoying right now. It’s just day-to-day, loving people and talking to people individually. It’s been good for me.”

Foster and his ex-wife, Jennifer, founded Hope City Church in 2015. Within four years, the church had roughly 12,000 people attending weekend services, earning it the title of the “fastest growing church in the country,” according to Ministry Solutions.

On Jan. 1, 2022, however, overseers of the church announced in an approximately 3-minute YouTube video that Foster, who has five children with his ex-wife, “confessed to an extramarital affair with a woman not affiliated with Hope City.”

Foster’s admission came approximately a year-and-a-half after TBN UK published an interview with the fosters candidly sharing how God healed their dysfunctional marriage, where Jennifer physically abused him. He, at times, called her “crazy.”

“And abuse started on our honeymoon,” Foster said.

“We’re getting married. And literally, on the honeymoon is where the abuse started again. Only this time, it didn’t come from a man. It came from a woman. It came from me. You see, that’s the only way I knew how to fight. That’s the only way I knew how to argue,” Jennifer explained. “It existed in every relationship that I ever knew in some form. … So when we got in an argument, and he didn’t respond to me that way, like all this rage, like literally pent-up rage, just came out of me and projected onto him.”

Foster said when he submitted his resignation, he wanted to address the church, but the overseers of Hope City Church advised him against it. He believes now, in hindsight, that the decision was wise.

“In the aftermath of everything that happened, … I wanted to shoot a video or write an email, or address the congregation, but the board at Hope City at the time didn’t want me doing anything like that. They wanted me to stay quiet publicly on social for a year,” he said.

“I did not like that decision. I didn’t agree with it. And over the course of time, I began to see the wisdom in it. And I’m grateful for that decision now. It was wise. … I wouldn’t even know what to say, how to say it, or even how to feel while saying it.”

He noted that even though his marriage had been difficult, it was no excuse to devastate his family and hurt the church and staff he was leading.

“I never would have thought that I would have done this. And I’m deeply sorry. I’m sorry to all of you, especially those of you who really put a lot of faith in me. I mean, it’s something that I’ve said a lot that, you know, ‘don’t trust me, trust, trust God.’ And I’ve learned a lot in this that I think that I was moving so fast,” Foster said.

He noted that the failure of his marriage “was my fault” because if he needed help, he had a lot of support available to him.

“I wasn’t one of those guys who people didn’t reach out to. I had a lot of people reach out to me; I had people checking on me. I was in good counseling. But I can tell you hurt people hurt people. I was overwhelmed. We, our church, grew so fast,” he said.

“Our marriage was well documented [and] had been challenging. At the same time, that gave me no right to do what I did. It was on me. I know people who’ve gone through really hard marriages and didn’t have an affair. That was my fault. I have no defense. I have an apology. I have learned through this. I can either have grace, or I can defend myself,” he added. “I have no defense. I need grace. I need God’s grace deeply. I have apologized to Jennifer. I’ve apologized to the kids. We’ve walked through a divorce. Divorce is ugly in every form of the word. And it’s still not OK.”

Contact: leonardo.blair@christianpost.com Follow Leonardo Blair on Twitter: @leoblair Follow Leonardo Blair on Facebook: LeoBlairChristianPost

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